Let’s NOT Twist Again Like We Did… Well, Lots in Recent Years

I think once you’ve been smack dab in the middle of a tornado – for instance, separated from one only by the roof, windshield, and rest of the body of your car – you develop sort of a special and strange kind of empathy when people and places you know well (or the place where you got caught in one before) are in danger , or in the middle, of one of those scary mothers coming down from the skies.

Even though the forecasts were trumpeting potential gloom and doom for West Tennessee yesterday and last night, the storms we’ve had the last couple of days in this area were sometimes a little nasty but nothing very out of the ordinary. We had some more early this morning, but other than the fact that my new neighbors’ car alarm goes off EVERY SINGLE TIME it thunders or there’s lightning – and I’m not kidding – most of it’s been, like, meh. And right now in Memphis it’s sunny again and bright (too bright).

Yet at the same time, now, one of my two home counties and a neighboring one just had a tornado warning, though I’ve not heard of anything having happened yet.

And even more to the point, lighthearted and flatly hysterically funny chatter in my Twittersphere this morning has given way to worried and concerned Tweets from my Nashville and Middle Tennessee friends and acquaintances as what looks to be a potentially very dangerous storm system moves into the area. I’m witnessing it all in near-real time, from their points of view, and it’s really as concerning and nearly frightening to me as if I’m right this minute sitting in Ginger’s or Slarti’s or Busy Mom’s laps, or in the newsroom with Christian.

And now, as I write this, it’s a few minutes later and I am breathing a little sigh of relief reading that Rachel and her co-workers have been let back out of the basement, and everyone else sounding a little less cautious too.

With one exception – news via NIT of a confirmed tornado in Lawrence County. I don’t know too much about Lawrence County, and I’m racking my brain to remember whether I know any bloggers or anyone else in Lawrence County, so it’s a little different now… but just a little.

I know what that tornado looks and sounds like, exactly. And I know what it’s like to think okay, am I getting out of this alive? And I know what it feels like, the helpless feeling when you finally realize there’s not a darn thing you can do but wait and see. And I know that even though it’s usually only a matter of minutes, it feels more like hours.

Agonizing, horrifying hours. There is absolutely nothing in the world like it, not that I’ve ever experienced, and hope to never have to again.

Arrival time in Lewisburg 12:45 p.m., they’re saying. One minute from now as I write. I hope everyone in its path stays safe.

It’s Tornado Time in Tennessee

So did Super Tuesday actually happen yesterday? Because there was no talk of anything on the news here yesterday except this tornado, that tornado, the next tornado, and the one after that, and etc., etc., etc. Starting about 4:30 pm and well after midnight, on at least one local station that was virtually it.

Living in the center of the city, I’m usually protected ‘cos the main danger zones in the Metro Memphis area tend to be out in the ‘burbs. Still, I didn’t sleep last night because nowadays, when the sirens start going off, my adrenalin rush just gets out of this world (and if you’ve never been here before or have forgotten, this is why).

There was some damage not too far away though, out in the airport area; lots of damage out in the eastern suburbs and across the state line in DeSoto County, Mississippi; and probably the most stunning, for here, was the 50-foot chunk of wall taken out of Hickory Ridge Mall down in Southeast Memphis. Kid sister and her hubby lived not too far from there, just south of Germantown, until they moved a couple of years ago, so for once, I was actually happy they are now living in Nebraska. Otherwise last night would have been even more horrifying and frightening.

Though there was plenty going on here last night to freak out about, I found myself much more affected by the news of the tornado that blitzed the north part of Jackson, Tennessee, about an hour northeast. The damage was huge in many spots up there, most notably the demolition of a/some dormitory building(s) at Union University.

Why would that affect me so much more than what was happening right here in my own back yard? Because when I got caught on the road in my car during the 2003 tornado that hit Jackson, I was pretty much right there by Union University. No matter that I was basically safe at home an hour away, last night in my little house in front of the computer, listening to and watching the live stream of the continuing weather update on one of the local stations. When they said a tornado had touched down in Jackson and said where, I knew exactly what it looked like up there at that moment, ‘cos I’d been there, right there in it.

I guess I’m always gonna be a little more freaked out by bad storms and the sirens, but for a moment or two, that really, really bothered me last night. Glad I wasn’t out in it all, here nor there, but just hearing about them now in places I know – and especially that one twister in particular, striking right there where I was that night in 2003 – it’s just kinda bone-chilling.

On another note, thanks to everyone who stopped by and left such kind words about Rocky yesterday, including some I haven’t heard from in years and years. Very much appreciated, all of you. I left out one little part yesterday I meant to throw in there, so bear with me a sec and I’ll stop talking about it soon enough.

Like most of my zoo, Rocky was a foundling. My neighbor who lived here for years came home from work one day a little over ten years ago, and when he got out of the car, there was this little tiny orange kitten in the small tree right above the driveway mewing at him. So of course he immediately knocked on my door, orange ball of fur in hand.

And because there is an invisible sign on my forehead that only cats and dogs can see that says “SUCKER”, the little orange furball never left. Seems like only yesterday, and when he was so sick and old and leaving us, that’s really all I kept thinking about, that day years ago.

Well, that’s it for the moment, I’m so tired I’m about to drop dead, so I’m off for now. Tomorrow maybe I’ll write about my Christmas adventures. It’s not a pretty tale.

P.S. Again on tornadoes – does Knuck have the right idea? ‘Cos what if the tornado hits your house, but doesn’t really blow it up and just does some damage but nothing fatal to you or the house, and then you ARE wandering like that, and then you’re, like, this naked guy wandering around Nashville post-tornado, and…

It’s really still too early in the morning for me to ponder this. Smiley will have the punchline I’m too exhausted to come up with right now, I just know it.

Bloggers in the Mist

I know two bloggers who are going to be probably severely hurting (and one severely hungover, heh) in the morning, as I just dropped them off at The Peabody about 3 a.m. after a night spent in Cooper-Young, where I also met this blogger and these bloggers and a bunch more bloggers and other folks, as well as unfortunately missing a couple more who had taken off by the time I arrived, including that blogger. But all in all, a fun evening.

However, let’s just forget about the part where an errant automobile zooming down the wrong way on one-way Second Street at a VERY high speed almost took out the ‘Coma and my back car door in one fell swoop, and scared the Squirrelly one and I nearly to our very deaths. Other than that near-catastrophe, a most excellent time was had by all. Very good to see the Dresden Duo and wonderful to meet all the people I met for the first time!

Accidents Never Happen in a Perfect World

So yeah, I was in a bad car accident last Thursday night. I was making a left turn onto my street, not even three driveways away from my own driveway. The woman who hit me just wasn’t paying attention and slammed into the back of my car.

Nobody was really hurt, thank goodness. She had husband or boyfriend with her and a young child, and all of them appeared to be okay. I got kinda banged up, but I’m all right. The officer on the scene wanted to call for an ambulance and send me to the hospital, but I talked him out of it. I spent my formative employed years working in emergency rooms, I knew I didn’t need to go. And not only did I have a (now destroyed) car full of groceries that needed to be unloaded, but I also had a crapload of freelance work that needed to be finished by morning. So, since I wasn’t bleeding and was coherent, I diagnosed myself as not needing medical attention. It would have been a waste of time, I’d have sat there ’til god only knows when in the morning likely – I don’t like wasting time. And I was fine.

I had a great big goose egg on my head from smackdown on the steering wheel, that’s gone down though still just a little swollen and sore, and is turning a really disgusting shade of yellow-green with purple and black highlights. I think it’s weird that it’s almost a week later and this is just now showing up – or maybe I just didn’t notice, I don’t exactly have great lighting in this house – I indeed have two black eyes. One’s a lot worse than the other but they are both turning that awful yellow-purple-black too. I probably didn’t notice the worse one because it’s the inside part of my eye and down the side of my nose. I had my glasses on that night and the black eyes are probably from the glasses, it’s a wonder they didn’t break.

But anyway, yeah. Just looking really groovy and gorgeous right about now, yup.

The car’s a total loss, which I expected. It was pretty gnarly. Two of three bags of kitty litter that were in the trunk busted on impact. It was an older car, so I’m not getting much for it, which I also expected. The sad thing was, even though we’d had some trouble with it recently that was mostly due to it sitting mostly unused as long as it did before it came into my possession, it only had a little over 20K miles on it and the interior and exterior were pristine, so by all rights it really should have been like a new car. Even though it had been having the trouble it had been lately, a lot of car buffs had expressed some awe over it. I probably could have sold it for a lot more than I’m getting for it now.

But not now. And this all just wasn’t exactly in the current plan of things, so I’m not exactly sure what’s going to happen next.

The other driver didn’t have any insurance, which is not all that surprising around these parts. That’s always kind of annoying, when I – especially when I also had the other, newer car, and even when I just had it alone – have paid an arm and a leg on insurance over the years, just to own a car down here in Crime City, you know. I reckon she is going to have to pay a hefty fine in this state, but she lives out of state, so who knows how that’ll go. There’s just something kind of frustrating about always doing the right thing – like paying my insurance premiums every year, and auto registration, and all that – when other people don’t bother and (usually) get away with it.

And frustrating, too, that in 25 years of having a driver’s license, I’ve only had two wrecks when I was driving, and neither were my fault (the other time, I got sideswiped by an SUV and a cop behind us saw the whole thing). And my only other insurance claim where I was the driver was when I got caught on the interstate during the 2003 tornado in Jackson, which certainly wasn’t my fault.

I guess the other worst thing was, when at first the policeman was insisting even if he didn’t call for the ambulance that I needed to call someone who would take me to the ER, there just wasn’t really anyone to call. In retrospect, there was – co-workers, former co-worker, even my old boss, or heck, I could have tried to get hold of Lindsey though I would have hated to do that to her since we haven’t even met in person yet – but it was late, and I wasn’t really thinking and still pretty freaked out anyway. My current neighbor wasn’t home, and my friend and former neighbor lives over an hour away now. I used to have several family members here, all of whom are living elsewhere now, and my closest relatives are nearly three hours away. So that part kind of sucked, too.

But I talked my way out of the hospital anyway, so it really didn’t matter. In any case, overall, it was just a horrifically sucky night. Maybe not as bad as the tornado, but definitely close. And at least I drove my car home after the tornado, sigh.

I thanked the police officer that night profusely, as he’d let me talk him out of and into several things in the course of the evening (out of the emergency room and into letting me walk some of my groceries on down to the house while we were waiting for the tow truck), and he was nice about it all when he didn’t have to be. His response, and I guess he was right, was, “Well, you kinda got the short end of the stick on this whole deal here tonight.”

Oh, and I kinda got something else, too, though I didn’t intend to. The people that hit me had a young cat with them who got loose (naturally, as no one with cats would be surprised) when they opened the door. In fact, when the police arrived, I was in the bushes of the house across the street trying to help catch the kitty (naturally). They weren’t having much luck catching him, and I really wasn’t sure when they left whether they had been successful in catching him or not.

After I (finally) got home and got settled, I walked back up there (since it was not even a block away from my house) just to see. So, guess who’s hanging out in my guest bedroom right now?

I really hope his owners turn up somehow… I really DON’T need another cat, no matter how much fun he and that insane youngest of mine are having fun wrestling with each other…

Going to try to post about the L.A. trip soon. That’s a much more fun story.

A Good Day is Any Day That You’re Alive

I guess there was something big I forgot to mention that occurred during my two-year absence from the Web, something I remembered Sunday afternoon that I hadn’t written about here, remembered yesterday while I was sitting in the front room of an O’Charley’s on the south side of Montgomery, Alabama, watching hail beat down on the cars and pavement outside and listening to someone talk about a tornado that had allegedly touched down 7 miles east of there, well…

Almost two years ago in May 2003, I was driving home from my mother’s and back to Memphis. We were in the process of moving her into a new home she had just bought and this was what wound up being the third of four almost consecutive weekends I had gone up there to help move more stuff. As I usually do when I’m up there, I left much later than I probably should have, mainly because we had been sitting on her new front porch watching a storm pour down rain and go by.

Driving back to Memphis on I-40, as I got closer to Jackson I seemed to be having more difficulty keeping the car on the road for all the wind, and I noticed the lightning ahead seemed to be getting worse and worse. I called my mother on my cell phone and asked what they were saying on TV about the weather. At the time, Madison County, which I was coming into right about then, was just under a “severe thunderstorm warning”. I debated about pulling over then, but then decided to move onward, figuring if it got really bad I could just stop in Jackson and get a hotel room for the night and be done with it. Coming into Jackson, as I got to the new Campbell Street exit, I thought about pulling over again but decided not to. As I got into Jackson the wind was so bad and pushing at my car, I decided that was it, I was getting off on the next exit, which was the Hwy. 45 Bypass exit.

As I pulled off onto the exit, here came the hail. Giant, bigger than golf-ball size hail, in torrents. How I drove on up several more yards through it, I have no idea. Within seconds, there was like this huge river of humongous hail on the road.

I edged on up, scared to death ‘cos I couldn’t see if anyone was in front of me or behind me, but managed to get where I thought was on the shoulder – for those of you who know the area, I was right off the exit onto the shoulder of the bypass and past a concrete guardrail (should have probably stopped there) and could see the Vann Road exit sign (to Super Wal-Mart et al) directly ahead, tho barely. And hoping like heck no one would come up from behind and ram right into the back of my car, not being able to see me with all that stuff coming down.

The hail just kept coming and that was when I noticed the tiny cracks in my windshield. Soon they were bigger and bigger, and at that point I was so mesmerized in horror at the cracks I was barely paying attention to how loud the pounding was on the roof and hood of my car. I just kept watching in horror as more and more cracks appeared. The wind was hammering at my car, not moving it but it was somewhat shaking from side to side in place. There are several large shopping centers, the Super Wal-Mart and a car dealership directly ahead and to the right of where I was, as well as many other businesses, and lights were flashing all around as transformers blew, electric signs exploded, all kinds of stuff going on all around me. I never did really see anything flying through the air other than the hail – it was all just one great big gray blanket or sheet dotted with that huge hail, all coming straight at my car.

As I kept watching the windshield crack over and over again, now so cracked that the whole thing was pretty much one giant spidery crack with lots and lots of legs, it finally occurred to me that I’d better cover my head or something, and remembered I had the lids of two of those giant Rubbermaid tubs in the back seat, so I grabbed them and kind of hid under them, praying the whole time the windshield wouldn’t completely shatter, or worse. About that same time it occurred to me that I had put the car in park just past the concrete rail, and that there was probably a dropoff of some kind on the other, passenger side of the car, as I was up fairly high, possibly one of the highest elevations in northern Madison County.

Two important things about this experience. I have grown up where tornadoes and straight-line winds are commonplace in the spring and, in recent years, in November and December. Let me tell you, first, that all those things you hear your whole life about what to do if a tornado strikes, if you’re somewhere with no real warning – say, in your car driving down the road – all those things they told you about getting into a ditch or some other low place and such doesn’t do you a bit of good because when it hits like that, you don’t have time to do anything. At the point when I realized that something was truly and definitely wrong, within a second or two that river of humongous hail was coming down. For one thing, I don’t think I could have gotten the car door open to get out against the wind. And second, if I could have gotten out of the car, I think that gigantic hail would have beaten me mightily if not to death.

The other thing is, when it finally occurs to you that you just might not make it out of this – well, there’s nothing you can do. That’s pretty much it. I mean, yeah, I prayed I guess, I thought about some people and some things, all that kind of stuff. But as far as actually being able to do something, you’re pretty much completely helpless like that against Mother Nature. I mean, really, when the horrible realization dawned on me, it was just like, “Well, this might be it”. And that was that. Not another thing I could do.

I know it was probably only minutes, but time really did stop and the thing seemed to go on forever. When the car finally stopped shaking so much and the sound of the hail beating up my car got less and less frequent, I peeked out from under the Rubbermaid lids to find the windshield pretty much completely cracked, but intact still, not shattered. I sat there for a while trying to gather my composure again, called my mother on the cell phone and, very oddly calmly, told her what had just happened… collected myself again and decided to try to drive up to a convenience store I knew was just up the road a little ways.

As I pulled in the parking lot, I saw the person standing outside the store take in the appearance of my car and mouthed “oh my god”… several people had gathered there by now, including a Madison County sheriff’s deputy who had lost communication with the sheriff’s and city police department (the law enforcement transmitter downtown had gotten blown out in the storm as well)… everybody there pretty much looked completely shellshocked. More people kept congregating looking shellshocked. I sat down at a table, called my mother back and Kelli (who lived just up the road and wanted me to come stay with her, but as I told her the storm had passed and I was going to try to make it back to Memphis if I could). As bad freaked out as I was, I kept learning how lucky I was, especially when the married couple who were working at the store that night got a call from home near Lexington, 15-20 miles up the road, telling them that they had lost everything – their home, a shop, a barn on their property.

I finally got myself together enough to start heading back, slowly, towards Memphis. Even though the windshield was cracked all over there was a small spot in front of my eye line, so I could see well enough to drive tho it was a little tricky.

I pulled onto the interstate only to find that, just south of the exit, trees had fallen and were completely covering the entire shoulder of the road and much of the right-hand lane of the interstate for a couple of miles. This is probably where I would have pulled over had I not pulled off the exit. Scary.

And really no less scary in the coming weeks although after I spent the day off work and trying to compose myself back to normal and get over the jitters and freaked-outness, once I’d finally gotten home about 5 in the morning (when I should have been home around midnight), I was mostly back to normal. But the next weekend Andra & I went back up to Mom’s for the final bout of moving, and as we passed through where I had been driving on the other, westbound side of the interstate the weekend before, I saw all the decimated trees and signs twisted and pulled over and all kinds of damage up and down that side of the interstate… so if I’d pulled over and stopped before I did, too, who’s to say whether it would have been better or worse. Even worse, a few weeks after that I was headed that way again and decided to pull off the interstate real quick and check out the spot where I had parked, to see just what was on the other side of the car at the time… and the dropoff was much greater than I had thought. Maybe not enough to kill me, but surely had the winds pushed my little car over the side I’d not have gotten out of that unscathed.

But as it was, I did get out of the whole thing unscathed, physically anyway. My car, on the other hand, was another story – it wound up totaled, unfortunately, tho I kept it and did some minor repair (like replacing the windshield) and am driving it still today, hail dents all over and all. I was planning to get it repainted and see about getting at least some of the dents out, but to date have not done so.

Sure, I have been frightened at various times in my life… but not like this. That was most assuredly the single most frightening few minutes of my life. I really did think for what must have been several minutes but seemed like an hour at the time, as the tornado went on and on and on and didn’t seem like it was going to stop anytime soon, that I wasn’t going to get out of that alive, probably. Since then to this day I still carry with me a feeling like I am not really supposed to be here. It’s an odd thing to live with, very odd.

And tho when I’m home and the tornado sirens go off (there’s one just blocks away from my house at the fairgrounds so it gets very loud here) and especially if hail starts falling, I get pretty nervous… yesterday I wasn’t nervous at all, sitting in that restaurant on the south side of Montgomery watching the hail fall out the window (which I was sitting near but ready to move at any second) and listening to the sirens wail. I guess I figure I’ve already beaten the monster. Hope it’s the one and only time, anyway, ‘cos it is truly a game of chance, that… and I don’t really wish to bet on what the chances are of getting out of that unscathed a second time. Good night & be safe & most importantly – be happy.

Drivin’ n’ Cryin’…

04/16/98 (later): Hola amigos y amigas! Well, nothing like a near-death experience to liven up the end of the week!

I had a rare day that I could actually go out for lunch this afternoon, so Stevie Kane picked me up at the office and off we went out East to Applebee’s at Poplar Plaza. Had a yummy lunch and ruined the day of a poor market research guy that was eating at the next table who asked me if I’d like to do an impromptu taste test on the product he’s market-researching on (currently not available in stores, thank god) but I don’t think my reaction – “Man, that sucks so bad!” – was the one he was hoping for for his product… oops. Spreading a little sunshine wherever I go, snicker.

Anyway, Stevie Kane and I start heading back to Midtown/Crosstown in his car (thank god it wasn’t mine), at the Poplar Avenue viaduct when some speed demon going 80 or more mph passes and, we think, clipped us. The car stopped within INCHES of one of the big ol’ walls down there. After recovering from the shock all was well, we are fine, I was mucho happy not to have been road pizza in the middle of Memphis this fine Thursday, tho I think when we got out of the vehicle to see just how close were to that wall, I know I nearly went into cardiac arrest right then and there…. no way either of us would have walked from that. Talk about one big WHEW.

Several people stopped to make sure all was well and so did one of Memphis’ finest, who thought we might have been the victims of some stolen car/burglary/whatever getaway. We discussed it later, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be our time to go ‘cos neither of us in the car saw our proverbial life flash before our eyes… he says his final thought before the car skidded to a halt was that all his best suits were still at the dry cleaners and would anyone in the family think to go get them for the funeral, heh. I don’t really know what mine was, probably something like, “Oh god, why didn’t I give the dogs a bath last weekend?” or something like that.

Well, there were some other distinct thoughts, but suffice it to say I am real happy to be here puttering around on the Wall right now, ecstatic even. I feel like I’ve been lifting weights for 365 days straight non-stop because every muscle in my body is aching like all get out, but that’s okay, it’s better than the alternative! Hopefully between all these tornadoes & these fools on the road, I’ll be here with more Graffiti for a few more moons to come, laugh. Later…