Nope, Not Dead Yet

Well, hello there. I bet you maybe thought I wasn’t coming back, unless you’re on Twitter and in that case you knew I was awake online again. Pffft, I always come back eventually.

This blog will be 13 years old in February and I suppose it’ll still be here 13 years from now. Or somewhere anyway.

There’s really not much to say – which is kind of ridiculous because I bet I’ve had 100 blog posts written in my head. It was a really trying summer. Things are (maybe, hopefully) getting a little better now.

We lost Little, the last of the elderlies, a couple of weeks ago. She was a very old kitty at 17 or 18 (I never can remember which year she came here), and had been very sick for a long time, so it was time. The oldest four-footed thing in my house right now is 12, which seems odd. Everybody else is fine. I’m still trying to get used to not having a dog around that is scared to death of thunderstorms (and rain) anymore, or fireworks. Instead Dobie’s niece and nephews bark at fireworks, which is certainly more annoying.

There’s more, I’m sure, I’m a bit sleepy this morning though so this will be short. I thought we were supposed to have thunderstorms today, so I stayed up through the night working, thinking today would be a good nap day. Silly me, I practically need sunglasses indoors today, it’s so bright.

Hopefully anyone who’s subscribed via feed will get this. I discovered accidentally, several weeks ago on the MMH blog, that Feedburner had been scooped up by Google (thank goodness not Yahoo which now has its hands in my AT&T mail which works like crap now), and stuff had changed and I needed to migrate the feed, so hopefully this post is showing up both on feed and in MyBlogLog.

Also, unless you’ve got the feed or never had anything but the WordPress link, you may not even know I’m still here yet since I’m having a little bit of a disagreement with my domain & web host (i.e., they suck and their account re-up tactics suck even more). I’ll straighten that out eventually, but for now you can bookmark/link @ http://thelynnsterzone.wordpress.com/ – same for the music blog except it’s lynnstersmusiczone – it’s always been here anyway and will never change.

More later, I’m yawning despite the wayyyyyyy too bright sun.

Good, Bad, More Bad, and Even More Good

So now that I’ve got all the other out of the way, a little post about things good and bad, but neither of which have anything to do with how poor I am or Michael Jackson.

Bad - the heat. My car registered 107 degrees the other day. I think it got down to 105 by the time I got from Kroger back to the house. The heat index was 113 that same day. It’s been like this for about a week and is not supposed to break at all until after Tuesday – there’s two spots of rain in the forecast between then and now, but I don’t have much hope it’s really going to happen (it’s rained in Nashville and Knoxville a couple of times the past week or so, but not a drop here). I have been in discussions online on and off with friends from all over the country (and the world, for that matter) this past week and I don’t care how cold you are or how sick of rain you are – I’ll trade. Immediately.

More Bad – Little has had another bout of old age vestibular disease this week, which some may recall this time last year I was dealing with that with both her and Dobie at almost the same time. Dobie’s was much more pronounced and took a much longer time for recovery; with her, once again by the next day she was better and is continuing to do better. She’s a 17 or 18 year old cat (I can never remember which year she arrived as a baby) so these things are to be expected, but it’s like a stroke and it’s so frightening and unnerving – I think even more so with cats, since they like to get in higher places and the first couple of days she flatly tossed herself off her perch and scared me to death. But she is much better now. I am starting to wonder if this is heat-related, though I read a pretty voluminous amount of information on the syndrome last year (both canine and feline related) and don’t recall any mention of that.

Good - my Rite Aid box fan. I’d forgotten about that thing. I bought it a few years ago when the AC went out and was having to be replaced. After several days of the above heat already come this past Tuesday, and then reading that it wasn’t going to break at all until maybe next Wednesday, I thought I was probably going to be suicidal come the weekend. I have air, but my window unit that usually does a pretty decent job in the summertime just can’t handle this kind of heat and for this extended a period.

Then I remembered the box fan. I would have NEVER guessed it would make the difference it has, but it has. Granted, really over here in my one little corner in the room with the computer and Internet, but that’s where I am almost all the time anyway. In the afternoon after noon or 1:00 or so, it’s still getting a little stuffy in here – but NOTHING like the completely intolerable horrific awful heat it was before I got the fan out. Much, MUCH better. And I’ve even been COLD sometimes in the early mornings or middle of the night this week and had to turn it off. Rock!!!

Even More Good – In their old age, and especially as Dobie’s health went into the serious decline it did the last year or so of his life, Dobie and Lulu both developed some incontinence problems – especially Dobie. Though it’s still very hard to believe he’s gone and makes me sad, one kind of unexpected plus has popped up since his passing – even though they turned five years old last month, I really had no idea that the young’ns are as well house trained as they apparently are! They’re not perfect – with me living alone and my sleeping schedule being all out of whack and not really a schedule, on the off chance I actually do sleep a whole lot and probably more than I should instead of my usual three or four hour catnaps here and there, occasionally there’s an accident, but rarely. They are, for all practical purposes, beautifully housetrained! Daisy doesn’t surprise me because she’s perfect anyway (heh), but it is kind of shocking to me just how well her brothers are.

On the one hand, it’s a pleasant surprise to discover just how really well trained that way they are when, with them, I never really did even try all that hard when they were very young because I was still working out of the house and not here a lot.  On the other hand, that makes Dobie’s frequent accidents (even long before he ever got sick) a little frustrating seeing as how I DID make an effort with him when he was young. Go figure.

In any case, hope everyone has a great weekend! I have been so pitifully socially deprived working around the clock so much, I’m really looking forward to meeting up with KathyT and Melissa on Sunday, so more on that later in the weekend or Monday, I’m sure.

I Might Be Typing This in My Sleep, But Probably Not

Thursday was an odd day. First and foremost, it would have been my father’s 67th birthday, if he were alive.

The annual big Relay for Life event was in my hometown over the weekend, and the paper has been publishing the list of donations for luminarias as they come in for about the past month – donations made in memory of those who died from cancer or related illnesses, in honor of cancer survivors, and this year, in honor of caretakers. Well, Thursday was also the day that my father’s name appeared as one of those donated in memory of (by a relative of mine). Not so surprising, though somewhat ironic as far as what day it was.

The paper also publishes snippets of news from bygone days frequently – 25 years ago, 50 years ago, 75 years ago, and sometimes earlier. What was really kind of odd was that 50 years ago, on that same day, the paper showed him and a group of other young men from the county preparing to leave for Castle Heights Military Academy in Lebanon to attend that year’s Boys State session.

I don’t know. It was just kind of an odd day all around.

I want to thank everyone for the kind notes they’ve been leaving; I could never put into words how very much they are appreciated. There are several of you I have been meaning to e-mail personally for days now, but the kinds of hours I’ve been keeping, and time I’ve been spending lately scrambling around as I have trying to slow down this impending disaster – I sleep at weird times, and when I’m not asleep I’m usually snowed under, and my actual working schedule is usually overnights, so I’m usually awake when everyone else is not and vice versa. Except I also will just (when I’m not doing shift work) go for several hours, pass out for two or three or four hours, get up and go some more trying to get stuff done. But many of you will hear from me personally soon, I promise (and KathyT, I did e-mail you and hope you got it, sorry it took five days before I heard the voice mail, oops).

And thanks to many especially for the kind words about Dobie. He was here for so long, and still my “baby puppy” even when he was old and his health failing, and it’s still very hard to believe that he’s really gone. I have a very nice picture to share that my mom took at Christmas when I had to take him with me because of his failing condition, which has wound up being the last taken of so very many that were taken of him over fifteen years. But I can’t really look at it much yet, so I’ll save it for a day when I can.

I probably need to write some more about all the horrible stuff that’s going on and why things have disintegrated to the disastrous point they have, but I’m not really sure how to put it into words here because there’s really only so much I can say publicly – and for good reasons. But it sucks, because for those same reasons, I’ve sort of been stuck fighting this battle on my own almost, and with no one I could really be open with about the details other than my very closest family and friends.

But I will do all of that soon. Unfortunately a good bit of this week is going to be focused on probably selling what little I have left that is worth anything at all (not much, but a little) that is truly just mine – a few things that would have been, I guess you’d say, family heirloom-type stuff if I were leaving anything behind one day. Not that I’m likely going to have children or anything like that at this point, but you know – stuff I never dreamed I’d ever be forced to part with, not like this. I guess if I outlive my mom (doubtful), there’s still a houseful of family things – but nothing that’s just mine, except these few things it looks like I’m going to have to part with.

It’s not much – I guess that’s the worst joke of all about all this stuff, I’m not dealing with thousands upon thousands here and it’d probably be a whole lot easier to swallow if that were the case – but no, there’s only about a grand or two standing between me and complete disaster. Much less than 2K, really, more like about 1.5. That’s the part that really stinks, that in the grand scheme of things, it’s not really all that much. But the problem is now I’ve run out of time is all.

In trying to think things through – and coming to the conclusion there were really no more options anymore but the one thing I have tried for over a year now NOT to have to do – it’s occurred to me that no matter how tough things might be right now, that really doesn’t bother me nearly as much as thinking about how I’m going to feel about it all a year from now, or two years from now, or five or ten years from now – when presumably things will probably be better, but stuff that meant something to me – things bought with me in mind and given to me for very specific reasons – will be gone. And I just can’t even let myself think about all that right now.

Anyway, this week will be busy busy – and I need to get going now as it is, much to do and much to finish – but I’m going to try and keep at the blog again, even if it’s just stupid stuff. Aside from all the awfulness of late, there’s also some really funny stuff I’ve been saving up to share. And I’ll be trying to get some personal e-mailing done this week and next too, some of you I’d been meaning to touch base with anyway and either the constant need-to-do-this or constant passing out cold from exhaustion kept waylaying. So will speak to many of you soon, and will definitely be back here shortly, as soon as I wrap up one big project that has tied me up for months. ’til then…

…

Well, I hemmed and hawed and sighed a while over it, and then I decided I really couldn’t go posting over there without posting over here, too, so… here I am. Just saying hi.

Things are… well, as bad as ever, to be honest. Worse, really. I’m sort of at the end of my rope phase, though I don’t really know what that means because, you know, what’s next? Been drowning a while, just not underwater completely yet, I guess.

I haven’t been writing for a while, really, because (A) there really hasn’t been that much interesting to write about; (B) I’m depressed enough as it is without having to read the hows and whys in black & white; and (C) out of respect for some of the members of my family who do occasionally visit here, I just don’t really want to hash out the gory details of it all on the blog. No parent really wants to know their child (no matter how old they are) is hungry, or frightened, or a lot of other things that are really much worse and it’s really just all better left in the unknown. As unpleasant as the last year and a half has been for me, it’s probably been a lot harder on those who care about me, especially one.

I’ve learned that I can eat on about a dollar a day, or less – that’s just luck, though, since I’ve never been much of an eater and rarely eat more than one meal a day anyway. I’m very tired of repeatedly being in the position of having absolutely no idea how anything’s getting paid this month – where I am again right now – other than rent, which is the one thing I do manage to make every month. For now.

It’s sort of a sick twist that I’m actually in a position where I could at least regain control of monthly living expenses again – if I wasn’t already so very far behind. I got bumped up to QA reviewer for one of the services I’ve been working for for a while now, which is a little more like a “real” job and is steady work, better pay, and something I can possibly eke out a living on – maybe not a great one, but enough – along with the little bits I bring here and there from this or that.

But again, unfortunately I’m so horrifically behind (and have probably paid for a couple of years’ worth of car payments and insurance payments in late fees, overdrafts, etc. just trying to get everything paid but never able to make it on time for months and months) – yeah, that’s still good news, the new work. But it really doesn’t make much of a difference right now when I’m so behind to begin with. If I could just get ahead, or on top of it all at least, for just one month – that would probably make all the difference in the world and I would actually be able to breathe again month to month, maybe. But that’s not likely going to happen, so I just struggle on.

I’m eligible for nothing, for this reason or that reason, whatever. I’ve appreciated well-meant suggestions from well-meaning folks about this or that over the last many months, but one thing I’ve learned in all this is I think there’s some that just don’t get it, it’s beyond a lot of people’s comprehension that one might have nothing.

Like this one suggestion I got about something that was “only $25 or so a week”. Well, that’s nice and all… if you have $25 a week to spare.

Cut off the Internet? Sure, for most that’s an “extra”. For me, it would mean zero income as opposed to the little I do bring in. Though I’ve come dangerously close a few times to losing that, too.

So yeah, I wish I could say things are better, but they’re not, and now you see why I don’t write much lately. It’s crappy enough living it, much less reading about it. I kind have avoided writing much about it (here or elsewhere) too because I’ve seen more of my friends losing jobs, or already bad situations getting worse, lately – and I don’t want to be more of a downer. But most of them will be fine. Especially one – I just know whatever’s next on the horizon there is gonna be great.

Me, I’m just here. That’s about all I know to say for now. See ya again soon.

P.S. Dobie, my 15 year old dog, left us on Good Friday. Not really ready to write about that yet, either, but probably will before too long.

Merry Merry

I think this is the first time in my life I have ever been alone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  It won’t last – my sister couldn’t leave Nebraska until after work Wednesday, so Christmas for us is pushed back a day, my Christmas Eve will technically be tonight and Christmas Day tomorrow.  In fact, I’m on my way out of town shortly today to get that ball rolling.

Several days ago, I wrote about my frustration and sadness about not really being able to “participate” in Christmas for the second year in a row.  After I’d posted that, my godmother, who I love dearly, commented that it didn’t matter how many presents we had or did not have and that we would all still have a good Christmas and enjoy being with each other and laughing and having fun like usual, and well, she’s right, that’s all true.  But I still can’t help but be frustrated and sad that I couldn’t do much, and what Newscoma wrote the other day about her own Christmas pretty much hit the nail on the head for me too when it comes to Christmas:

This year is a lean, mean Christmas but I’ve gotten into the spirit to a degree. No, there isn’t any big ticket items. People are getting small gifts that I tried to put some meaning into. I’m a gifty person. I like seeing people’s faces when they open their presents. I’m weird.

That’s always been the fun for me as well, at least ever since I was old enough to do my own Christmas shopping.  You won’t find socks and underwear under the tree in our family – well, you will, but they’re the least important – we do gifts that others would probably think silly and certainly unconventional, but everybody gets stuff they really wanted (and some stuff they didn’t but are resigned to getting every year, like my brother-in-law getting sheep in various forms – a family in-joke) and we have a blast.  I like getting just the perfect things for people and seeing their faces when they open their presents, that’s the big thing for me.

And ever since my parents got divorced, my main priority has always been making sure my Mom gets the stuff she wanted.  And I couldn’t do much of either this year, and it depressed me.

As it turned out, I actually was a little better off than I thought I was.  I thought I only had one thing to give one person, and as I was getting things together getting ready to go out of town and kept finding things I’d forgotten about – including something my mother was supposed to have gotten for Christmas probably two or three years ago – I actually wound up with one gift for each person that will be at our family Christmas.  So I guess that’s better, but I’m still pretty frustrated and depressed about it all.

Really when it comes down to it, I’m about at the end of my rope in general.  Last week I spent three days in such depression, fear, and panic about just everything in general that when things improved just a little bit and I felt a little bit better, it was really concerning to me just how bad it had gotten.  It’s a little bit scary to get that far down.  A lot of those things that people will say things like, “I don’t know how he/she could have done that”, things I used to be able to say – I know why people do those things now.  I can tell you for a fact that if you get knocked down and desperate enough, things that may cross your mind, if only for a fleeting moment, are the kinds of things you never would have thought would do so.

But I don’t know, for some reason I’m still here, although sometimes I wonder if the only reason I haven’t just thrown up my hands and given up yet is because somebody’s got to take care of the pets, and if I weren’t here… well, the cats would probably be taken care of, but I know what would happen to my dogs, and it wouldn’t be what I would want.

So I just keep going, but I’m so tired of all the panic and anxiety and not knowing anything every month – how is this going to get paid, how is that going to get paid, how am I going to be able to eat next week, etc.  The car insurance and phone/Internet miraculously got paid this month – which the latter, you know, I’d probably do without too, but without Internet, then there’s NO income at all.

I still don’t know how the car payment’s getting made this month or catching up on the utility bill, and then January will come and all the panic just starts all over again.  Right now I only have one for sure, every month, monthly check coming in and it will only cover either rent, car insurance, or car payment, so that’s what I consider my rent check.  The rest is pretty much all up in the air every month right now, which is just… yeah, panic-inducing, frustrating, and depressing.

But for a couple of days anyway, I’m just going to attempt to enjoy what there is of Christmas this year and put the rest behind me for a little while.  There will be plenty of time after Saturday for the panic and worrying again, so I’m going to see what little bit of Christmas spirit I can muster up and go with it.

Dobie is not doing very well at all and just had a bath today – which just made him all the more furious with me – my Mom doesn’t know it yet, but he’s coming to visit for Christmas too (thus the bath).  I’m hoping hanging out in a warm house with carpet and a bed to sleep in all by himself with me for a couple of nights, and some turkey and who knows what all else there will be, will perk him up a little bit, or at least make what I am fairly certain now are his last days a little nicer.  He hasn’t shown much interest in food lately, but I kind of expect he will be thrilled about the turkey and whatever scraps.  Sure, table scraps aren’t really good for dogs, but he’s old and he’s dying, as far as I’m concerned he can eat whatever he wants (and whatever he WILL eat).

It seems like this year has just been a never-ending cycle of bad news.  Times have been so tough lately and not just for me, seems like half of nearly everyone I know has been going through something or other – friends losing jobs recently, another recently finding out hers will be terminated at the end of the year, others losing family members here right at Christmas.  It’s just all got to get better sometime, doesn’t it?

Anyway, I hope everyone who stops by here had a really super nice Christmas.  Some of you I miss so much and hope to see in the coming months.  In the meantime, I am on my way in a couple of hours for my own Christmasing, scanty though it is this year.  See you again soon.

Super Ultra Extra Comfy

I love this.

It would be sort of the same at my house if I had a mattress on the living room floor, except there would be four more dogs there and a smattering of felines.  B’s cats were apparently fairly uninterested, though.

A Little Clarification

Heh.  I just read my last post again and I should really clarify something.

I wrote:

I’m very tired of things like having to choose between buying groceries or putting gas in the car.  Or whether to buy food to eat, or buy paper towels and toilet tissue.

Paper towels normally wouldn’t be a necessity.  In fact, I went many years hardly buying paper towels at all and could usually live without them just fine.

Paper towels, however, are a necessity when you have a 14-year-old dog that has recently developed a rather extreme incontinence problem.

Yeah, it just gets better all the time.  ’til later…

The Usual, Unfortunately

Here’s yet another example of how rotten my luck is (and notably has been for some time).  I was getting ready to work on a project a couple of days ago that I badly needed to work on and finish before Christmas got much closer, and as I sat down at the computer all motivated and ready to get productive – the power went out.  Because at the house next door, they were chopping limbs off a tree… but had to get the utility company to kill my power line to do it.

The power was out for, I don’t know, seven or eight, maybe nine hours.  Just mine.  Not the house where the tree is.

In fact, the worker chopping the tree got through about 3:45, and had made several calls, but over two hours later, the utility company had yet to come back and put the (live) line back up.  So I called them too.  They finally showed up after 7 p.m., and by then it was really too late to do anything.

There’s something else I need to get done, but I need a large shipment of (free) Priority Mail boxes from the postal service to be able to do it.  I’ve been waiting a while.  I realize it’s the Christmas season and all with the mail, but just yet another monkey wrench thrown my way.  At this point, even though I badly need to get this done, I’m thinking maybe I’m better off waiting until after Christmas anyway.  Maybe people will have more money to spend on stuff they want but don’t necessarily need (which is what this project mainly consists of) by then.

In any case, I just can’t really catch a break lately.  There’s always something somewhere throwing a monkey wrench into everything.

I applied for a couple of jobs recently.  The very next week, both organizations announced major layoffs and a hiring freeze.

I’m very tired of things like having to choose between buying groceries or putting gas in the car.  Or whether to buy food to eat, or buy paper towels and toilet tissue.

It’s too bad I have to buy groceries at all, since it seems like nearly all the things I have to buy that are necessities have gone up 75-100% practically in the last few months.  Some of them have even gone up that much – yet the packaging has gotten smaller, there’s less of whatever it is in the package.  Other stuff is the same price but now, like, 11 ounces of whatever instead of 16.

Seems like I’ve been saying for months when will this all end?  Seems like it’s not going to.

People close to me will help, but by the time I’ve gotten another round or two of groceries and other necessities or bills paid, there’s nothing left and I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to make $1.49 or so stretch out for weeks again.  I need to put gas in the car again later this week and I’m thinking, OK, now how am I going to do that?

I eat maybe three, four times a week.  I know that’s not good.  But I do things like last week when I made the mistake, after having craved it for days and being hungry as heck anyway, of spending a little extra (less than ten bucks) on a spaghetti dinner from a fave joint around here.  Now I’m wishing I hadn’t and had that ten bucks back.

I have cut back virtually everything, pretty much, until there is no more.  The utilities are almost two months behind again, as that’s pretty much stayed for months now – it’ll get paid somehow.  I wouldn’t have Internet anymore I suppose, except since that’s my sole source of income I can’t very well not have that – of course if the utilities get cut off – well, you know.

Christmas?  I don’t get to participate in Christmas for the second year in a row.  I mean, we’ll have it, and it’ll be fine and nice and all that.  But I can’t buy anything for anyone, and just be opening presents I’ll wish nobody would have bought me since I can’t do anything myself.  I do have one thing for my sister that I just happened to wind up with, but I didn’t really intentionally go out and get it as a Christmas gift.  That’ll be it.

I’ve built up some residual recurring income.  It’s small now, but it will get better.  It’s just stuff that takes some time to grow and is going to continue to.  But it’s not going to solve any big problems right away, that’s for sure.

I do some work but there are issues with that too.  Always issues.  I’m actually constantly working, almost around the clock, sleep here and there when I finally crash, get up and get to work on something else again.  It’s some income, but not enough.  Working on other things too but again, more stuff that’s going to take time for anything to come of it.

I’m just really, really tired of it all.  Sorry.  I probably wouldn’t read here anymore for all the repetitive doom and gloom there’s been either.

Dobie is in such decline that I don’t really think we have much longer.  He is so frail and skinny now, it just breaks my heart.  And that in itself – him getting so frail and thin and pitiful, as well as blind – has posed all kinds of new problems, like today when he got stuck somewhere I wasn’t sure for a while I was going to be able to get him out of.  Last week he got a foot and claw stuck in the old furnace grill and I wasn’t sure I was going to get him loose from that either.  I keep thinking what if he does something like that sometime when I’m (rarely as I am) away from home and is stuck like that for hours?

He and the only other extremely elderly pet left are really throwing me for a loop.  Neither of them are eating as much as they should, although the cat is really doing all right otherwise for her 17 or so years.  It takes her hours to eat when she does eat, though, and she spends most of her time in there talking to her food.  Which is kind of funny, yes, but she’s always had this habit of talking to inanimate objects, starting with a roll of duct tape that was on the floor once years ago.

I always was big into Christmas.  I was thinking the other day of how nice it always used to be between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We’d have the tree up and on every night, and my parents had all this Christmas music on a couple of reel-to-reel tapes that were usually playing every night, and I’d just hang out laying with my head under the Christmas tree listening to music and looking at the lights and ornaments most every night.

Back when people used to have time to enjoy stuff like that, anyway.

I’d do the same at my grandmother’s house.  I remember what all the Christmas decorations she used to pull out every year looked like – probably because I was always helping get them out and put them up – even though I haven’t seen most of them in 25 years.  I guess my aunt still has most of them, I don’t know.  I don’t think there’s really anything I wish I had of all that stuff, except for maybe the little lighted Christmas trees that probably actually originally belonged to my great-grandmother.  There were two of them – one was silver and one was green – they weren’t anything special, just aluminum or tin with a light inside, and colored cellophane or something that made them look like they had lights on them.  Probably from the Fifties or Forties, maybe earlier.  They always sat on the end tables in my grandmother’s living room which, before that, was my great-grandmother’s living room.

I’m older now than my mother was when I left home for college.  Have I already written that here before?  I can’t remember.

So, enough joy and good will to men from me for now.  Maybe sometime I’ll have something better or funny to write about, there just isn’t lately or I’m too busy anyway.

I was about to write that at least Tojo has been staying mostly out of trouble lately, but I just reached over to move him as he was standing over Maggie looking like he was about to jump on her (again), and he bit me (not hard).  So there’s that, too.

Have You Lost a Dog in Memphis in December 2008?

If you have recently lost a dog in Memphis (today is 12/12/2008), it may be running around my neighborhood.  It’s a largish, dark brown dog that might be a German Shepherd mix or something close to that, but with pretty long hair and a lot of it.  The face reminds me of a German Shepherd anyway.  I think it’s a she, but I’m not sure – it could be a male.

I’ve been seeing it around for about three days now and on different streets.  Seems to be very friendly and playful from a distance anyway – I can’t get too close because the majority of my brood is generally rather rude to other dogs.

Anyway, it’s running around the Central/Buntyn area a few blocks from the Liberty Bowl, among the streets just past the S-curve on Central when you’re going east towards the university (and away from the Liberty Bowl).  Once you go through the light at Hollywood and then through the light at Central & Buntyn that’s past the S-curve, any of those first several streets to the right – the dog’s been in yards and driveways in all of them.

I saw a guy yesterday apparently find his dog over here, having stopped his car and ran all over with a leash trying to get it and finally succeeded – oddly that one was black & white and looked a lot like my Petey – so I hope maybe whoever’s lost this one will be successful as well.  He/she seems like a nice dog from afar anyway, I wish I could take him/her in until an owner pops up but I can’t.

On another note – my domain map may run out this week – depending on how you’ve linked me, I may disappear for a few days but you can always find me at thelynnsterzone.wordpress.com – I’ll fix it as soon as I’m able to, should it run out.  Things are a little, um, well, not good right now.

Here We Go Again

Things will get back to “normal” here soon, September has been the busiest and craziest month full of stuff and I am real annoyed about not having had time to get back to things, especially the music blog because I’ve got a couple of big announcements to make.  But hopefully next week.

My mom’s 20+ year old cat Snow – the one who took a little vacation this summer for a couple of weeks and scared us to death – died quietly in her sleep almost two weeks ago.  So it had been a rough month already.

Then this morning my fluffy white angel left us.  He was about 17 years old, so not all that unexpected, but I would have liked to have had a little more of a break after his buddy Schuyler, who hasn’t even been gone two months yet, and Miss Snow.  And of course Lulu, my Beagle-Dachshund, earlier in the summer and Rocky earlier this year.

I know I was very fortunate to have had these last eight years with him because, for one thing, he was actually almost near death when I took him in in 2000, when he had to have basically a facelift because some dog or cat had gotten hold of him outdoors and nearly torn one side of his face off.  Once his fur grew back, you never really could tell what had happened and he was all gorgeous and white and fluffy once again.

And he almost died again two or three years after that when he stopped eating and developed fatty liver disease.  For a couple of weeks he was barely conscious, and I babied him and force-fed him food, water, and medicine from the vet until he finally started getting better again and eating on his own.  I can tell you in no uncertain terms that once he started staying more conscious and alert again and improving, that whole force-feeding thing did NOT go over too well, and he probably started eating on his own again not so much out of really wanting to eat, but wanting me to cut that foolishness out and stop bothering him with it.

And we kind of just went through that again this week on a lesser level with me trying to get water in him to keep him hydrated and comfortable.  He was so sick, but not so sick that he wasn’t getting mad at me for repeatedly bothering him with that nursing kitten baby bottle full of water.

Anyway, I know we were fortunate to have had eight pretty good years together and especially considering the two other times he almost died, which were now both so long ago.

Which now leaves me with just the two elderly ones – Dobie will be 14 in November, which is really old for a bigger dog, and Little the cat at 16 or 17 (I can never remember).  Both of whom already had frightening stroke-like episodes this summer, but are basically doing fine.

Though Maggie, the black and white cat on my shoulder above, is not so young herself now at 11, and Missy’s not too far behind her in years now.  Everybody here’s old now, really, except the “puppies” and Quincy and Tojo… and Quincy is approaching middle cat age at this point too.

I feel pretty old today too.  2008′s been a pretty exhausting year, in lots of ways.

I’ll be taking Audi up to Mom’s tomorrow, and lay him to rest in her gorgeous back yard next to his buddy Schuyler, and Miss Snow.  I’m so sorry now that I didn’t take Rocky and Lulu up there too, and Audi’s old best friend my best cat ever, who was also old when he left us and has been gone several years now.

My mom saw a black cat with green eyes around the neighborhood that she had never seen before shortly after Schuyler left us.  It would be really weird if she started seeing white cats she’d never seen before too, fluffy or short-haired either one, or both.  Or all three, a black cat and two white cats.  That would be really weird.

I will miss my fluffy angel kitty.  He rested all morning curled up in my arm with his head on my shoulder while I slept, and I woke up again right when the time came, and he left just like that, curled up with his head on my shoulder.

Now Tojo’s out here this afternoon aggravating everyone else, like most days.  Life goes on.