Next Things Next: The Truth Is Out There – But While We’re Waiting, Make Sure That If You’re Going To Get Yourself Killed Or Maimed In Knox County, They Have A Weapon In Their Hand First

Today, 18-year-old Henry Granju’s life was celebrated by his family and friends and all who loved him throughout his life, as well as many more who cared a great deal about him – some that knew him, some that didn’t. And then he was laid to rest by those same people, which is something no mother or father of an 18-year-old young man should have to do except in nightmares – the ones you have while you sleep as well as the ones that sometimes, unfortunately and horrifically, happen that you can’t wake yourself up from because they’re real.

I didn’t really realize until late in the morning, while sitting here today reading and writing and thinking about Henry and his family and the then-upcoming service, what day it was. Today’s one of those several days throughout the year that have a special meaning for me.

I lost three very special people to me when I was still a teenager (or just barely not one). Three boys my age, all gone from this world before any of the three turned 21 years old. Two at seventeen, one of which took his own life and is much missed by so many. Another killed in a horrible accident when we were 20 years old – my dearest, dearest, very best and closest friend in my lifetime, and the one who really pretty much was my real “high school sweetheart”, as opposed to the one I very narrowly missed winding up married to.

And then there was the other one, who was killed in a terrible car accident when we were seventeen, during the same summer that the other 17 year old took his own life. He was the first of the three that died, and he and I were also very close.

He was also a very, very troubled teenager. There wasn’t an addiction – at least not yet at that point, or not that I was ever aware of – but I’d heard things. And besides that, he just had a lot of teenage problem type stuff going on at the time – some very extraordinarily so, really.

We had been separated for almost two years at the time he died because my family and I had moved to another town, and most of what I was hearing was being filtered back to me through others. But the troubled time and problems started long before I ever moved – a lot of them, to this day, I’m probably still the only other person alive who knows what some of those troubles were.

Things that I heard about later were disturbing enough that, at one point, I’d written several letters begging him to just come on up to where I was now living, telling him he could live at our house and finish school up there with me – all this without having consulted my parents, but I just figured we’d deal with that when and if he ever arrived.

My letters went unanswered, phone calls were never returned. I only saw him twice more before he died – once only for a moment, across a crowded gymnasium at a high school graduation; and shortly afterward, the other time, and only for a second. I thought I had dreamed it, because I was asleep. I hit the ground running to the driveway, just in time to see the vehicle with that other’s county’s plates swing out and take off up the street.

A handful of weeks later, he was gone forever.

Should I have told someone, an adult, all I knew? Probably. Would it have made a difference? Probably not. He had already made the choice not to accept help when he could have. The accident that took his life truly was just that – an unfortunate accident. But if it hadn’t been that accident and that night, there would have been another one – or something far worse than just a tragic teenage car accident.

Today, he would have been 44 years old, like me. But he, nor the other two, will ever be middle-aged like me, or old like I will (hopefully) be someday. They’ll always be seventeen, always be twenty.

Is that why I have been so wrapped up and vocal in my support of Henry and his family? Because I couldn’t save my own dear friends as a teenager that needed help, and lost another soon after? No, not really. Certainly their loss has affected my life and how I live it irretrievably, but this now is not because of that and them. Nor is it because of the “there but for the grace of God” aspect for me and PC, and the fact that my significant other was once a teenager very much like Henry, and very much struggling with the same demons of addiction.

And of course, yes, certainly it has something to do with that I know this family – without having had the opportunity of meeting any of them in person to date, yes. His mother and stepfather have been active in sort of the same circles online as me for many years now, but we also share many of the same friends and acquaintances both online and off – many of whom I’ve had to watch struggle with their sorrow these past several weeks, as well as that of Katie and her family. I’ve literally watched the Granju kids grow up in photographs and anecdotes for ten years now, both publicly on Katie’s blog and her writing, as well as slightly more private “among friends” type settings.

But my sorrow and – yes – anger and outrage now is not just because of that, either. It’s because what’s been happening in Knoxville this past almost six weeks – and especially right now – is terribly wrong.

I don’t really know what to say about the appalling statements that came out of the Knox County Sheriff’s Office last night. Much as I said earlier today, most of this appears to be a poor attempt at spin on what I’m sure has been somewhat of a PR nightmare for KCSO this week – but it was a horrifically boneheaded move in execution, timing, and content, and one they may very well not be able to recover from.The effects are likely to be a lot more far-reaching than anyone down there predicted, and it might be time to step back and cut their losses on this one.

Once again, Aunt B. has already outlined a lot of what was on my mind this morning about it all. And better, and with less of my rather habitual and usual rambling.

Here’s the thing – when you do something stupid, it’s usually best to just step back and admit you did something dumb, apologize, and move on and get back to whatever it was you were supposed to be doing.

But NOW – as if there wasn’t already plenty enough stuff messed up and wrong here – they’ve added yet ANOTHER factor to the mix of messed up stuff about this entire situation.

Now, everybody’s been made aware that if you’re in Knox County, and someone beats you nearly/almost to death with their hands and fists instead of a weapon – not only even if you die, but especially if you die – KCSO’s not going to do a thing about it unless they saw it happen. And if there’s no “weapon” but hands and fists – it’s only a misdemeanor.

The tire iron, as declared now by the KCSO to be fictional, not withstanding – this is what they said:

Because no weapon was used in the assault on Granju, the attack would be a misdemeanor offense. With Granju’s death, any chance of prosecuting the two assailants has passed.

“The only way we can charge in this kind of misdemeanor is if it’s witnessed by us or occurs in our presence,” Jones said.

Huh????

So, okay, let me get this straight. If I’m in Knox County visiting family, and someone – whoever - decides to beat me with their fists, and I wind up in the hospital for over a month with a skull fracture, a broken jaw, and a closed head injury, and am going to be significantly disabled probably for the rest of my life – and then to top it off, I die about five weeks after I’m admitted to the hospital -

Nobody’s going to do anything about it? Because that’s pretty much what that statement above says.

I don’t know about you, but I’m a 5’2″ female and I don’t weigh very much, and I’m not terribly strong. Someone would probably have a bit of a tough time doing any significant damage to my significant other without a tire iron or other weapon because he’s an athletic type who works out all the time and in excellent shape for a dude in his forties. But me? I can’t even get anywhere arm wrestling him, I have like ZERO upper body strength. Most men – and women, for that matter – could wrap their fists around my wrists two or three times over and still maybe have room left over for more.

Somebody could kill me easy without a weapon – absolutely no doubt whatsoever. But it really doesn’t matter whether you’re a pathetically weak little shrimp like me, athletic and strong like my other half, male or female, 100 pounds or 300. There’s people out there that could kill or severely injure anyone, no matter their circumstances, without aid of a weapon.

What they said was that if someone kills you or me, or almost does, and there’s no weapon involved, and it doesn’t happen in front of them or in their presence – they won’t do anything about it.

Makes you feel really safe now, right?

Is it that way all over the state of Tennessee? Is it a flaw in Tennessee law? I don’t know. Possibly. It shouldn’t be that way anywhere. That much is clear.

But in any case, Knox County law enforcement’s now made it abundantly clear, in print, that’s the way it is up there and they won’t do anything about it.

No weapon? Aw, too bad. Sorry about your kid’s broken skull and closed head injury. Sorry your kid died, but there’s no weapon, so you’re out of luck.

Whether that “fictional” tire iron (or any other weapon, for that matter) turns out to actually exist in the end of the full and complete investigation or not – one horrible truth has already come out, and that’s the apparent fact that nobody in Knox County is going to be held responsible for your death or severe injury if there’s no weapon involved and it doesn’t happen in the presence of KCSO law enforcement.

I have a pretty good idea of what Henry’s parents are feeling about all that, because I know how I would feel if my significant other and I were being told the same about his parents, his brother and sister-in-law, his grandmother – all of whom live in Knox County. Except as horrific and bad as that would be – I can only imagine the pain of losing an 18-year-old and beloved son must feel about a million times even worse.

KCSO all but called Katie a liar last night in that statement. In their version of the story, no tire iron or any other weapon exists, among other information as set forth by Katie and the family that last night’s statement has refuted.

Even if it someday proves to be correct that there was no weapon – that still doesn’t make any of this all right. Not by a long shot.

KCSO’s latest actions are, at best, appalling and unprofessional – and appear to be rather spiteful, from much of the public view. That’s disappointing to see from any public service agency – anyone, anywhere, anytime.

The preliminary autopsy results were just that – preliminary. There’s still forensic investigation left to be done, and many folks are of the opinion that some of the statements released last night regarding the preliminary autopsy results were both premature and unwise. Many (including, obviously, me) suspect that someone’s going to have to eat their words, so to speak, at some point in the future.

The Knox County Medical Examiner’s office has been afforded a great deal of respect by the public – especially in recent years over the Christian-Newsom case. While the preliminary autopsy results in Henry’s case were disappointing and baffling, there are many out there who still have some faith that Knox County’s highly skilled ME will find the truth – the real truth – before it’s all over with.

Katie Allison Granju has her son’s medical records, which she has stated publicly clearly state – in regard to Henry’s condition – terms such as skull fracture, broken jaw, closed head injury, and other severe injuries. And Knoxville has a host of highly trained and skilled physicians who, no doubt, can identify such injuries when they see them.

As for the, now as per KCSO, “fictional” tire iron/weapon? Who knows.

And in any decent society, who cares whether it’s a tire iron, a 1000-lb. grand piano, a baseball bat, or a hand and fist?

There’s something terribly wrong with this investigation. Even the naysayers out there who generally come out of the woodwork rushing to defend Knoxville and Knox County law enforcement every time anyone questions anything at all about anything have said as much. There have been several comments in various places stating that it appears someone’s lying, or that it looks like something’s being covered up.

What do I think?

I think there’s more truth out there somewhere, and hopefully it will all come out someday. And probably when it does, whatever comes of it won’t likely be favorable at all towards the current administration of the Knox County Sheriff’s Office.

Whether or not the current administration of the KCSO can bounce back and survive after the unfortunate errors in judgment and boneheaded moves that have been made this week – I guess that will remain to be seen.

Some folks who didn’t know anything about Katie, Henry, or the case until it hit the news this week are projecting that the medical records won’t be released; that the family will ask for privacy; and that this will all just go away. Maybe Friday night, KCSO hoped it would all mostly go away and out from under the microscope too.

Those folks don’t know Katie very well. And – I’m going to make a guess here – might have gravely misjudged, underestimated and failed to predict just who all might be fully in support of seeing that this family, and Henry Granju himself, get the justice they deserve in this case.

That’s just a guess. A not entirely uneducated one, no – but a guess all the same.

I just hope that the family, many friends and loved ones, and everyone else who loved and cared about Henry Granju were able to not let the ill-timed and absolutely appalling latest developments in the case cloud their celebration of Henry’s life earlier this afternoon. Many there were friends and acquaintances of mine as well, but everyone there, whether I knew them or not – virtually all of them were in my thoughts today, and still are. Henry’s loss has been an incredible loss to so many, and it’s been heart-wrenching to watch the suffering of so many, both those I know and those I don’t.

I hope everyone was able to get past the unnecessarily negative new turn of events today to find a little peace. By all accounts I’ve heard thus far, they did, and it was a lovely service and gathering after – despite KCSO’s horrible timing this weekend.

When it comes down to it, though – it’s just that it was a memorial service that should have never had to be arranged and carried out in the first place.

And especially not with thugs still out there on the streets of Knox County – somewhere out there – probably looking for the next person they can carry out such brutal and savage acts of violence on. Especially now that everyone knows that as long as you do it where law enforcement can’t see you, and you don’t use a weapon – you can get away with it.

After all, that’s the message the Knox County Sheriff’s Office put out today. They said so, right here.

And of all the many and varied points of information in that article last night, that’s precisely the one people are probably going to remember the most – and for a long time to come.

First Things First: Down Here In Tennessee, We Call That Shameful

So, right around the time I was reading the rather absolutely appalling latest from the Knox County Sheriff’s Office via the Knoxville News Sentinel online in the middle of the night last night, so was Katie Allison Granju reading it somewhere online on her computer.

Seriously – who’s in charge of protocol, PR, and spin control at KCSO? If it’s ultimately all up to the Sheriff himself, surely they also have some legal eagle on that payroll that says things like “Maybe you should wait ’til…” or “I would advise holding off on that until…” and whatnot. Or if not an attorney, I would guess that they probably have (as most such state and county and metro agencies do), some PR person for whom one of their primary roles in their job description is advising “yes, this is a good idea” and “uh, this is not a good idea”.

Maybe they should hire me – someone with ZERO experience other than several years of voluntarily unpaid stuff that’s been mostly me helping out musician friends – because even I, in my complete and utter ignorance about law enforcement public relations, would have had at least a shred of good sense not to:

1. Release a new public statement on their most recent findings and autopsy results to the press before notifying the listed next of kin or a family member of the deceased of the results;
2. Release said statement late on Friday night (the time stamp on the KNS article was midnight EST) when they know good and well the family is laying their son to rest on Saturday.

The first – if not a legal issue and an outright violation of something – it’s overwhelmingly a questionable move, and most definitely highly unprofessional no matter how you look at it. KCSO has obviously taken the offensive regarding this case, but that shouldn’t just give them carte blanche to ignore what is obvious to anyone with a working brain the more appropriate thing to do in such a case (and, I suspect, is probably in their protocol and someone just chose to ignore it or find some excuse not to follow it because they were pissed off).

The second is just plain a matter of class and decency. Since it was at or almost freakin’ midnight on a weekend (Friday night) when that statement was released to the press – it could have waited until Monday. Or at least Sunday, or – at the very least – late Saturday afternoon or evening, and AFTER Henry Granju’s memorial service, to release those results to the press, especially since obviously no one was going to notify Henry’s mother or father of the results first before making them public. No class – no class at all, and most well-mannered human beings with any class and decency would agree.

KCSO may well have been within their rights to do both – releasing the statement publicly without talking to the parents first, and releasing it however and whenever they wanted to. Does that make it right? Heck, no, not in any decent society.

Which I’d like to think, simply by virtue of being down here in the South, we tend to at least handle some stuff with a little more care, sense and common decency than some other places maybe do sometimes. It shouldn’t be that way, no – everybody everywhere should have common decency – but still, we in the South do tend to do a little better than some at treating “acting decent” as sort of an unwritten law that pretty much just everybody knows. (Though obviously not everywhere in Knox County, huh…)

And whether or not it was within their rights to do both, it doesn’t change the fact that their actions still appear questionable on a moral and ethical level (at the very least) and completely without class, and are going to appear to anyone with (A) sense and (B) any interest in this case in support of the family (and probably some who weren’t, or didn’t really care either way before) to have been exacted the way it was on purpose, and out of offense at perhaps feeling “under fire” right now.

It’s simple, really. Very, very few people are going to look at the news of the preliminary autopsy results this morning, when they open up their paper or turn on the morning news, and NOT think:  You know, that could have waited until Henry was laid to rest today. People that knew him or his family, people that don’t, and pretty much everyone else with any sense of common decency.

Even those who really aren’t and haven’t been interested at all in the case and don’t/haven’t care either way -  it’s not going to go unnoticed to a lot of them either. Totally besides the people that were already mad and upset about all this stuff with Henry’s case yesterday – there’s going to be heads shaking and “tut-tut”-ing all over East Tennessee (and elsewhere) who couldn’t have cared one way or the other all that much yesterday. Guarantee it.

Then there will be those who learn that the latest results were released to the media without notifying either parent first, and that Henry’s parents found out the latest results just like the rest of us did – and pretty much most every one of those people is going to think, well, THAT was a shoddy (I’m trying hard not to curse here) thing to do.

Especially to a mother and father who are laying their dead child to rest today.

Come on. PR/Spin Control/WhoeverPerson (or the Sheriff, if it was ultimately up to the Sheriff) should have known all that. It ain’t rocket surgery (borrowing a favorite phrase from a favorite friend) to figure that one out. It wasn’t a matter of “damned if you do, damned if you don’t, damned whatever you do” with this particular piece of the whole shebang.

It’s just plain common decency, class, good morals and ethics. That’s all. Nothing more than that. Well, and professionalism too, yes.

Yeah, a lot of people were going to be upset and angry and outraged about that press statement anyway, no matter when nor how it was released. No doubt. It probably wasn’t going to calm too many people down too much.

But releasing that statement to the press before notifying the parents, and releasing it mere hours before Henry’s memorial service – on a weekend, late on a Friday night, no less – instead of waiting until Monday? Or at least Saturday afternoon or evening after the young man was laid to rest?

I grew up with an absolutely darling young lady who was plenty book smart, but just had absolutely no common sense whatsoever. Some people are just like that.

And some folks, bless their hearts – we all know the odd person or two or three who just wouldn’t know the difference between class and no class even if they had to spend twelve years studying that and only that. Even people who act without class at times usually really do know the difference. But still, there’s some out there that really and truly just don’t know any better.

Perhaps that’s the case here – that someone just doesn’t know any better and wouldn’t know class if it bashed them in the head and gave them a skull fracture and a closed head injury. If so, what do you do about that, other than hope one has advisors around that can discourage such a massive faux pas before it gets out, which obviously isn’t the case here.

But whatever the case may be with how and why things went down as they did, the problem NOW is this – the majority of folks out there are going to look at what’s happened overnight and see that press statement as either a deliberate, offensive move on the part of the issuer, or a move made totally without class, ethics, or decency. Most people will see it as both.

Whether it was truly deliberate or not is beside the point. And it’s too late to take it back – and really, any more spin or damage control on that’s just gonna make it worse. This kinda thing is just one of those things you really can’t fix – not in the public eye – other than maybe apologizing and moving on from there.

And even if those responsible just really and truly didn’t know any better – I can’t imagine that someone that DID know better didn’t advise them against it, and advise them to wait.

You have a county agency up there that has been under fire for a good while now for things completely unrelated to this particular case, and even more under the microscope this past week because of this case – and somebody makes a boneheaded move like that last night?

If the good people of Knox County decide they’ve finally had enough – and a whole lot more of them are going to be outraged this morning when they weren’t at all yesterday, and the rest are gonna be a lot more outraged than they were yesterday – those responsible for issuing that horribly ill-timed and poorly handled statement to the press aren’t going to have anyone to blame but themselves. Period.

It really just all boils down to one word, which is the one my Grandmama probably would have been shaking her head this morning and saying, were she still alive and reading that press statement hours before that young man is being laid to rest – “Shameful.”

My grandmother would have said it, my great-grandmother would have said it. Your grandmother would have said it too probably, or something like it.

Point being – so, probably, would have their grandmothers and great-grandmothers too.